bleeding ears

[Begin to Hope, Soviet Kitsch Regina Spektor]

Hallelujah. Everybody should be running to their computers to clear 70MB off of their iPods in anticipation for May 20th. "What's happening May 20th?" you may ask. I'll tell you: Scarlett Johansson is coming out with her debut album Anywhere I Lay My Head.

I'm pretty sure this marks the beginning of the end for ScarJo. She's already got a lot of media attention because, let's face it, she's pretty and she's been in some high-profile movie roles. IMO, she's not a very good actress, but that's another story (You don't have to be a good actor today to make it big in Hollywood. It's all about the lucky roles your able to land. Another good example of this is Orlando Bloom who has always been stale no matter what role he's in, but he keeps getting offered jobs by big-namers like Peter Jackson, Cameron Crowe, and Ridley Scott.). Now what's the first thing people with mild success do? They set their sights on the dreaded crossover. They think that since we go to the theaters to see their latest big-budget movie and buy all the US Weekly's with them on the cover, we'd like to hear them whine in hi-fidelity over heavily sampled, unoriginal beats. Thanks, Lindsay Lohan, but I do NOT want to get A Little More Personal, "raw" or otherwise. This concept seems to occur in reverse sometime, too, and some end up better than others.

To make matters worse, the album is allegedly eleven tracks with only one original. If you do the math, that makes nine ten of the tracks unoriginal. Apparently they're all Tom Waits covers. In all honesty, I'm not even sure who this guys is besides what I could gather from 30 second samples of his music on iTunes, and I have a feeling that having Lil' Red cover his music in not a good idea. The one original song is called "Song For Jo", which leads me to believe that "Jo" can only be referring to her. This can't be a good thing; I thought only rappers and Gwen Stefani talked about themselves in their songs. David Bowie is also attached to the album which raises some questions. Is he in desperate need of money? Is the album really that good that he just wants to work on it out of the kindness of his heart? Has David Bowie gone crazy? All good questions.

Since JoJo already has all of this media attention, this is only going to increase it. Unfortunately, although these crossover artists produce some pretty awful music, TRL seems to eat that shit right up. There's fucking pop culture for you. So with the dreaded paps constantly following her around day and night (preferably drunk outside of the trendy flavor-of-the-week nightclub), you have to wonder if she's going to snap like the other media whores of today (see below). I just sure hope that she's not going to screw herself out of a successful acting career because of a stupid foray into the singing biz.



ending the post with [Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga Spoon]