all those in favor of knee freckles say "aye"

[Daft Punk Radio on Pandora]

Ally told me that I've created genocide on my own ass hole. She's surprised I haven't killed her yet. Sorry I just told all of you that...

Manager Steve from work was sporting a sweet pair of throwback kicks tonight. I was talking to him about them, and it turns out their the same pair of Vans that he's been wearing since '93. Rock on, Steve.

Remember the Airwalks that everybody wore in 5th grade (around '95)? They were made out of that soft swede-like material and had white honeycomb shaped soles. You know what I'm talking about, right? They were all pretty much the same design but they came in different colors, so it didn't matter if you wore out the soft-rubbered soles in 2 months (quite frankly, you were probably trying to wear them out that quickly by keeping the laces untied and dragging your heels wherever you went) because you then had an excuse to go get (aka have your parents go get) a new pair with the freshest color combo to come out of the Airwalk laboratories. The ones in the picture are for sure not what I'm talking about, but they're the closest I could find.

Steve and I got to talking about fashion and he told me that "an old person's fashion sense is the same as it was when he/she was the coolest they've ever been." That's why old jewish men still walk around in their blue powder suits. That's why Neil Diamond wishes he still had hair so that he could feather it.

There's a dude that comes into the Café all the time with his long teased curly hair, leather pants (clearly too tight in the crotch), and snakeskin boons. I once was kidding around with a bartender saying that it looks like it's 20 years ago and he's rocking out with Poison on their first world tour. Turns out they guy was in a hair band in the late '80s and they did open for Poison at one point. The guy was probably rolling in the ladies back then, but then Nirvana came around. Poor guy hasn't been half as cool since, but he sure tries to keep the fashion alive. He reminds me daily of how glad I am that we've moved past that decade. Unfortunately, with the way fashion works, he's definitely going to be hip again soon.

I really don't know when I was at my coolest. My fashion has stayed pretty stagnant now for a while, but I think that's just because I don't have the money to buy myself a new fashion sense. I'm scared that I'll reach my coolest soon while I'm still wearing the clothes that I bought 5 years ago when I graduated high school (when I clearly wasn't at my coolest). That means that I'll be stuck wearing clothes that I was wearing when I wasn't cool for the rest of my life. Curse you, vintage graphic tees!!!

Aye.